Empowerment Through Compassion

I am reminded over and again of how much I love sharing nonviolent communication, the work of Dr Marshall Rosenberg.  

Last Sunday with my fellow facilitator Karl Smerecnik,  we provided some fun exercises which were designed to support people to explore how: 

• self-acceptance is the foundation for empowerment
• we transform our beliefs to have greater freedom and peace
• empathic listening as the key to navigating tough and uncomfortable situations
• awareness of our intention empowers us to ask for what we really want.

Having fun responding to the messages that are so difficult to hear from others in every day life does sounds rather strange and yet it is true, I hear people laughing as they hear their own inner thoughts and I witness changes in people regularly, even when there are situations that seems so stuck!  

When we are fully aware of all that happens to us  - what our inner voices say and we connect fully to our feelings and wants, with empathic understanding, we are able to think more clearly and we often discover solutions to problems that we didn't know were possible. 

We learn that we can hear messages and we have the choice to respond in many different ways. 

This is how Dr Dan Siegal explains the process:

"Response flexibility enables us to pause before responding as we put a temporal and mental space between stimulus and action. From a neurobiological perspective, this space of mind enables the range of possibilities to be considered, to just "be" with an experience, to be reflected upon, before engaging the "do" circuitry of action. 
Response flexibility offers the individual a way of choosing to be the "wisest self" possible in that moment."

NVC Process is

What are we observing that is affecting our wellbeing?

How do we feel in relation to what we are observing?

What are the needs,values,desires etc that are creating our feelings?

What are the concrete actions we request in 

order to enrich our lives?

 Words are Windows (or are they walls?)
by Ruth Bebermeyer

I feel so sentenced by your words, 
I feel so judged and sent away, before I go I've got to know
Is that what you meant to say?
Before I die to my defines,
Before I speak of hurt or fear,
Before I build that wall of words, Tell me did I really hear?
Words are windows, or they're walls, 
They sentence us or set us free, 
When I speak ad when I hear, 
Let the love light shine through me. 
There are things I need to say,
Things that mean so much to me,
If my words don't make me clear, 
Will you help me to be free?
If I seemed to put you down,
If you felt I didn't care,
Try to listen through my words
To the feelings that we share

Want to know more ?




These are some of the comments that participants shared with us at the end of the day:

“This is a very rewarding process and I am very grateful for these group workshops.”

“The two NVC workshops I have been part of have been strengthening events within themselves but have continued to resonate with me in the weeks that followed.”

“It was great to have the space to look at thoughts, feelings and needs in such a simple straight forward way.”

“The workshop enabled me to understand that past events don’t have to dictated my emotional responses – or that I can understand and move past that response.”

“I gained more clarity about how I can achieve better communication with others.”

“The workshop highlighted many areas of my life that these skills would help improve – all relationships such as work, family, children, friends, partners, etc.”

Next group meets on 10th November in Forest Hill, South East London 9, Havelock Walk SE 23 If you would like to know more do email me

mail@tracyseedassociates.co.uk 

Transformational Coaching for Leaders

This is how one (early years) organisation describes the benefits of working with us in an independent coaching relationship. Nonviolent communication and NLP were the approaches that were drawn on during the coaching process.


“Since the management team have received coaching, the impact on the whole team has been massive. Both the Childcare Director and Managers have then been able to coach some of the team at each of the sites.
Coaching is so powerful as it helps us to reflect on our practice on another, much higher level, and start to make changes. Any changes we make in our practice and in ourselves will of course have a massive impact on those around us. At all sites there has definitely been an "empowerment" amongst the team - the team are not so reliant on the management team - they make decisions and fulfil their roles much more effectively. It has also created a more honest culture, which is something I've been trying to encourage for 8 years!!!
I also think people feel they have permission to make mistakes and they will be supported with that, as they think about what they would have done differently and how they will move that forward.
The process has helped transform the senior management team's communication with each other, and in some ways taken out the fear factor - which was skewed due to our own stuff!!
"Coaching really helped me open my eyes and see the bigger picture; it helped me understand some of my own skills and areas for development. It helped me question my own practice. Through this process I have then been able to reach out and support my team in a constructive and beneficial way." Kerry Lambourne (Zoom - Eltham, Manager)
Eleanor hasn't experienced coaching first hand herself (yet), - in a formal capacity!! I have and do coach some of her team. She says - paraphrased.
The advantages, I feel, are that the team receive "on the job" training. Team are given time and support, where they are developed. They feel valued and listened to and are helped to progress, in a nurturing way. This affects the team the person is in and the nursery as a whole. The Manager also gets support with training and supporting the team and help to identify areas for development. Everyone benefits. I don't know if most people appreciate the depth and complexity of the job - and so any 1-2-1 support given in areas that could impact many other areas is fantastic for everyone concerned, e.g. confidence. (zoom - baby unit Manager)
Justine says "coaching has impacted me by enabling me to reflect on my practice at a higher level, gave me confidence to be honest about my strengths and areas for development (although painful), taught me that I'm not perfect!! I am now able to listen more effectively and so I was able to give time and space to others to manage their own processes, and role modelling has had a massive impact on practice; empower and motivate."
The coaching process enables team to reflect on their practice and to be continually moving forward and developing and changing. It is empowering and motivating, it places value and results in ownership. It improves communication and allows challenging of each other in a positive and respectful way - which is then modelled to the children.
If the money was there - I would make it compulsory for all Management team to receive coaching sessions regularly - and they then coach their teams, etc. Impacting children, parents, team and themselves!!” Melanie Ferguson Operations Director Zoom Nurseries, London

This leadership team are so inspired, they are now able to use a coaching style with their staff, obviously this is not entirely the same as working with an unbiased independent coach, but it does mean that they have a repertoire of skills to coach their staff in the context of their job related performance and to lead an overall culture in the organisation that fosters equality and inclusiveness in the team. The benefits have been transformational.

If you are interested in working with a coach on an individual basis or would like us to work with your team contact us at mail@tracyseedassociates.co.uk.
Or join my next 4 day transformational LEAD training programme. We guarantee that you will:
 • Gain awareness and flexibility in your leadership style
• Discover the secret of high performing teams.
• Develop coaching and mentoring skills and learn a language for conflict resolution and for creating a culture of team work and collaboration

This is what one participant said who attended my most recent training in Lambeth
“ I have learnt to listen, to work as a team member, to have empathy for my colleagues, have gained confidence and a boldness to sort out issues that occur with the team” Early Years Leader
If you find yourself wanting to acquire theses skills and competencies book your place now by clicking here or telephone me 07795632878 for further information
Next Events
Bromley commencing 6th May
Lincolnshire commencing 7th June (to be confirmed)
Newmarket commencing 8th June
Want to know more about NLP and Nonviolent communication