Nelson Mandela and more.....

Nelson Mandela is an amazing man who showed us that it is possible to make a difference, to build a new nation, a new culture. He died at the age of 95 on Thursday in Johannesburg. So many of us are grieving his loss and also celebrating his legacy: as we work together for a world of equality and inclusively.

Photograph from The Guardian 7th December 2013 Flowers and tributes for Nelson Mandela outside South Africa House in central London. Photograph: Laura Lean/PA

For love, peace and reconciliation. His fight was ultimately for spiritual freedom, within us all, no matter what our circumstances. 

Is this you?

Caring for each other, simply because we are alive and we have common feelings and needs and we live on the same planet is often far from our thoughts when we are in conflict. An attitude of reconciliation is rare. 

What I have learnt is that our true nature is to love and to contribute to each others well being:  I invite you to look into the eyes of a baby to see if this is true.   

Why do we deviate from what is our true nature?

It seems it is because of the way we are being educated. In schools, families, because of our history, our culture, religion, language etc and the result of our education is often that we sense we need to fight for survival and our actions follow this. Competition rather than togetherness becomes the norm.  Mandela showed us that it is possible to learn to love and forgive even when this has not been the way we were raised. 

“Education is the most powerful weapon we can use to change the world”

“We are taught to hate and if we can teach a human being to hate we can also teach a human being to love, to embrace, to forgive”

I just listened to Mandela's daughter Makuziwe speaking about how difficult it was for her father to express his emotion and her sadness about this and this caused me to reflect on how difficult it is sometime to notice what is going on emotionally with children, from the impact of all aspects of their lives.  I think we need to get better at this in education, knowing how to engage with children who struggle to show themselves. Recognising that children are part of a family, part of a community. This is when our children will flourish.

I long to see an education system that places relationships and community at the heart of the curriculum.  If our children value life and their interconnectedness to each other and the environment around them a new culture can be born. 

In the past few months I have been introducing teachers and childcare professionals to the power of music, imagination, dance and movement. We have been engaging in activities that bring groups together and foster a sense of belonging. Through some simple activities we can help children learn how to appreciate each other, to learn how to resolve their differences and to make choices that serve life

Nelson Mandela was a courageous man who made a tremendous difference in the world his work for humanity his work can continue through us. 

Here are questions to consider, in your school, home, setting, centre etc:

Do the children feel confident, competent, comfortable with themselves and others?

Can they deal with their conflicts?

Do they feel supported, celebrated?

Do they know their roots and the roots of their ancestors and how this has affected what they believe and who they are now?

Do they know that they have a choice about what they value and how to be?

Are they free to share their stories?

Are they being listened to?

Are they willing and motivated to learn?

Are they connected to the feeling of being alive?

Do they feel that they matter?

How often do you dance and sing and create as a community together?

DO?

ARE YOU SUPPORTING THOSE AROUND YOU TO FLOURISH?

WHO IS SUPPORTING YOU?

A Child Care Pledge to Inspire Creativity

In the midst of all the politics, proposals and changes, I am remembering a few weeks ago in one London Borough as part of a series of EYFS workshops a group of inspired child care professional exploring their work with children focussing on the Prime area of Physical Development and Creative and Expressive Arts.

"Nothing changes until something moves" - Einstein

 

Through movement, dance, art work, music and song we explored our own creativity and natural capacity for fun, connection and freedom of expression and we discussed how limiting beliefs become installed during childhood. 

 “I cant’sing”

“I cant draw”

“I can’t dance”

“I am no good at sport”

 Learning does not only take place at a cognitive level. There is also learning on the affective, emotional, and visceral level." - Rolando Toro

When early childhood professionals explore their own potential and have fun learning together, they return to their work with young children full of enthusiasm which is infectious. 

We played games, engaged in a magical adventure and moved with flexibility, force, agility, fluidity through space and time, balance, coordination, increasing mobility, muscle tone and strength - personal empowerment and freedom in a unique expression of ourselves. 

"We can sing"

 "We can draw"

 "We can dance"

 "We can .......".

And we are the people that provide the early years environments that help to realise these potentials in young children.   Every child is an artist, the problem is staying an artist when you grow up” – Pablo Picasso

 

 

 

Genius is nothing more or less than childhood clearly formulated, newly endowed with virile and powerful means of self-expression.''— Charles Pierre Baudelaire

Both hands together clapping with joy, gazing into your eyes, meeting for a moment in complete connection, such pleasure of human connection –  energy of heart and soul.

 

“Movement is what we are, not something we do” – Emilie Conrad

 

“We sing before we talk, we dance before we walk” –
P. Grendrad

 

 

Lets always remember to have fun with movement and sound, make up stories and take on characters. Laugh and sing nursery rhymes and poetry, children love this and so do adults too.

 

 

Move and shake, jump high and low

Take a friends hand and move very slow

Now in a circle altogether found

Turning around and around and around 

Sitting on the floor now lying down

Crawling on your tummy not making a sound

 

Wriggling along like a snake in the grass

Up on all fours like a dog running fast

Now like a monkey climbing up a tree

And become a bird flying over the sea

Landing on the water

Swimming to the shore

Back to the land where the rain starts to pour

Hiding in the bushes until it stops

Back home for tea now and some lolly pops.
 

“Learning begins from birth, and high quality early education and care has the potential to make an important and positive impact on the learning, development and wellbeing of babies and young children, in their daily lives and the longer term’. Professor Cathy Nutbrown

 

See shaking the foundations of quality a very important read

 

 

Connecting with the Elements

Not bringing the inside out - celebrating the very special nature of all that the outside has to offer - Last Saturday, over 50 Swedish early year’s professionals arrived in London for an event with us. They are the staff of Angbybarnens Forskolo, a group of five pre-schools in different locations in Norra Angby, Stockholm. These pre-schools are led by my colleagues and NVC companions Annika Sparrdal Mantilla and Ninni Jarnehall, they are pre-schools which are even more progressive and forward thinking than any average setting in Sweden

How could they afford to do this?

For the second time they have won Stockholm's Quality Award prize. They first won this during 2010 which is when they took the whole team to Italy, this time their visit is with us here in the UK and I am so grateful to have have he privilege to work with them on both of these occasions.

Here is a short video showing photographs of the event in Italy and in the UK and some of their own outdoor environment and of Chelsea Open Air nursery's very unique city garden. 



A Further description of the event in the UK
We met in Norway, during May, to discuss their needs and settled on working with a theme and intention to advance their experience and thinking around learning outside -not an easy challenge, considering that, unlike UK pre-schools they already offer children all day access during rain, snow, frost, wind and sunshine. They are very comfortable with children exploring freely, climbing, digging, hiding, running, resting etc.

I wondered what we could offer?
We agreed on an innovative plan to commence on the first day, with a three hour session of music, movement and dance: a session based on biocentric principles.

What was our intention?
It was to bring them into connection with the elements, through their bodies and their emotions, to experience outdoors in a fresh way; to embody this learning. Our music (except for the opening and warm up) was the sounds of nature combined with some urban sounds too of course! Day two would be a more traditional training session. 

We commenced in an indoor training room meeting and offering some outline of the session that would follow. We walked in silence to a beautiful private garden, 5 minutes away, close to regents park, walking barefoot on the grass, running, jumping, making cartwheels and handstands, smelling the earth and lying on the ground; feeling the warm rays of the sunshine on our faces, dancing to the breeze of the wind..and allowing our lungs to fill with air and to move our bodies subtly opening up to in a fluid way, slow and graceful dance  and then dissolving into a deep state of relaxation and accessing a blissful sense of being with nature and ourselves. 
Smelling the flowers and examining bugs with a gentleness and softness that returned us to our early memories of multi-sensorial experience. We awakened the old and anchored the new, our senses heightened and the body’s neurology embedding these experiences along with the emotional states of relaxation, awe and wonder. 

The experience was very challenging for some of them and yet, they engaged themselves either fully through the exercises or as observers, whilst
sitting under a tree.
On day two or our event we were joined by Jan White, early
year’s consultant, author of playing and learning outdoors: making provision for high quality experiences in the outdoor environment’ is published by Routledge (2008). Jan is an international advocate and supports high quality outdoor provision for services from birth to five. During her time earlier in her career, as a Senior Development Officer, she played a key role nationally in developing Learning through Landscapes’  When I met Jan a few years ago, my impression  was that she possessed a depth and breadth of experience that continued to evolve, I like this and her openness, flexibility and humour too. I sensed her potential to work with and to connect with a group of people in an authentic way and I was right, within a very short time and in spite of some hiccups with our equipment, she captured the group with her warmth and enthusiasm and began her session by introducing them to her thinking about the very special nature of outdoors and the distinct difference between what this environment has to offer compared with being inside - its highly multi sensory nature and vegetation. 

Jan's work and my own input helped them to be conscious of the embodied experience of the previous day. She facilitated a dialogue around characteristics including;the experience of different surfaces, open spaces, opportunities for refuge and reverie, the softness of being cushioned in the grass, kissed by the rain and caresses by the leaves;exploring schemas of trajectory, enclosure, boundaries, envelopment, rotation and much much more;the right kind of materials - affordance (meaning those that meet the needs of the individual children, those that are inviting, stretching, accessed, used and shaped). Flexibility and responsiveness of the environment to the needs of the children and the importance of transition areas and the comfort of the adults to really engage with the children.

She completed the day by asking them to think about the messages they want children to believe about themselves and she shared some of hers with us:

They are good to be with
They can feel good in their body
They are capable and competent
They are trusted and responsible
They can be curious and adventurous
They are creative and inventive

My conversations with participants during our time together and at the close of he event seem to indicate that they felt stretch and challenged to think more deeply about their experiences of being outdoors and this they say, has moved them forward. We will follow up with them in a few weeks too, to see what impact the event has actually had on their practice.

I'm thinking that if all of our early years setting developed their practice in this way, surely this would go someway towards growing the kind of citizens in the UK that we would like to be with, with a love of ecology and the the likelihood of less violence and destruction.

I am so grateful for the work with Sue James who led the nature session with me and to Jan White who was a very flexible, thoughtful and creative partner and I am thankful to Ninni and Annika for continuing to work collaboratively and enthusiastically together and to Nisimo, Vigdess and Beverly for assisting in many ways to make this a memorable event - what a great team!

If you are interested to learn more about this group of nurseries see www.angybarnensforskolor.se/

If you would like to visit them in Stockholm sometime do let me know as we will be organising a study trip in the near future. Funding may also be available through various European funds.  Also, do remember too that if you would like an event that is something more extraordinary to meet the needs of your group, or if you would like to attend one of the programmes specified on our website please do contact us see www.tracyseedassociates.co.uk. 
Click here for a link to an older blog entry that also contains information about outside play.

Cuddling children - not allowed again????

We all need hugging and cuddling no matter what age we are. We also need the touch of a smile, verbal affection and eye contact too and we need key relationships with people we can trust. http://www.nurseryworld.co.uk/news/1067702/Hugs-extend-happiness-Happy-Days/

Affective interaction is necessary for the healthy, cognitive, social and emotional development of every human being.

This is as necessary as food.

There is so much research that exists on this subject, Harlow’s famous experiments with monkey’s in the 1960’s showed the need for comfort and warmth and many studies with infants in orphanages and in hospitals showed conclusive results that if babies do not have contact with a significant other and are not touched they fail to thrive.

Infants deprived of skin contact lose weight, become ill and even die.

Premature babies receiving “touch therapy" gained weight faster, cried less and show more signs of a relaxed pulse respiration rate and muscle tension and I'm sure that there must be research with the elderly too, but I haven’t explored this.

It seems that this natural warm physical response to another human being causes a biochemical release of the hormone, oxytocin and when this hormone enters the bloodstream we feel good: it lowers the levels of stress hormones in the body, reducing blood pressure, improves mood, increases tolerance for pain and maybe even helping the body to heal more quickly.

Cuddling/hugging is so very good for us it lowers stress

Touch is also the way that many of our memories are stored which means that our early memories are anchored deeply into the physiology of the bodies neurology (touch permeates through the dermis (skin) and activates tiny receptors which are distributed throughout the entire body). These early memories, including the way that we were touched create a pattern, a template from which subsequent relationships are formed, consequently, it is crucial to recognise the importance of the essential value of reassuring and caring touch, hugging, cuddling and expressions of affection…relationships and attachment.

This is what Leboyer 1975;Wilson 1982 said:

"It is through the skin, through touch, that the newborn first learns about its world and draws conclusions about whether it is a safe place or a hostile one"

When we feel contained in the arms of another we learn to trust. When we feel safe and securely attached, we develop the confidence to explore our surroundings independently, with a sense of adventure and self assuredness, knowing that we can return to that place of safety when we need it.

It gives us a sense of safety and security and supports the development of trust

This is what I understand about the importance of cuddling (and its connections with attachment and developing a healthy sense of mental and emotional wellbeing) so when I read a title like “cuddling children – not allowed again, which was posted on a linked-in group recently, it calls me to engage, share and respond to this very important topic and my desire is now to share what was discussed with all of you too.

Janet Uwins - Independent Early Years Consultant and Tutor, Chelmsford, UK initiated this discussion when she posted this:

“I have been teaching a regular class of pre-school practitioners today who are nearing the end of their L3 Diploma. In classroom debate, one of my students raised the subject of cuddling children, a subject that was quite controversial a few years ago. It seems to have reared its ugly head once again, this fine line between acceptable and not acceptable practice with young children, and once again I am hearing messages that settings are asking staff not to touch the children in order to protect themselves against safeguarding accusations.

Have I missed something here?

I was under the impression we had moved on from blanket policies of this nature and were putting the needs of the child first. Surely the concept behind our Key Person approach and acknowledgement of attachment theory and the emotional well-being of the child is fundamental. I would like to hear from any of you (practitioners in particular) who can offer me any enlightenment as to this supposed U-turn.”

When Janet says it has reared its “ugly head” I agree with her “the ugliness” is that child abuse exists, children could be harmed or a member of staff falsely accused of abuse and the level of fear paired with a need for safety sometimes results in staff in nurseries, teachers in schools, social workers and many others who work with children, being confused and cautious about cuddling and showing their care and affection freely…

There were many responses illustrating this concern on-line, including one contributor saying that she had worked in one placement where minimum contact was suggested (in the 12 to 18 month room) and that blanket policies about this seem to be apparent in larger chains.

Here are a few other responses for you to read:

Elaine Hook, Manager Sole Charge at Monkey Puzzle Day Nurseries, Hemel Hempstead said:

“We cuddle children openly in a room with other members of staff keeping our hand visible and usually rely on the child's lead. Of course for emotional, attachment and attunement reasons practitioners have to cuddle babies and small children but always under the organisation policies and procedures and with someone else in the room. We never do anything alone or behind closed doors especially with older children. We also ensure that we write an incident procedure form over absolutely anything and have it witnessed by a staff member and signed off by the deputy or manager and then ask the parents to sign the form and also give them a copy. It is more detrimental to the development and well being of a small child (as we all know) to not cuddle or comfort a child than it to comfort. I believe all practitioners especially managers/owners should be confident (and know their own policies well) to challenge ideas like these in the best interest of the child and their learning and development. We all want children to grow up as social well adjusted individuals and as well all know if children are not stroked, cuddled or love that can cause a wide range of trauma for later in life”.

Kathy Brodie who provides tailored training and support for early years nurseries and professionals, Stockport, UK made reference to the independent report on the Early Years Foundation Stage – Dame Tickell

4.5……….I recommend that the safeguarding and welfare requirements are made more explicit about warning signs in the behaviour of adults working in a setting. I also recommend that the EYFS sets out clearly the high level content of the child protection training that lead safeguarding practitioners are required to attend. This should align with the Working together to safeguard children guidance, and include content on safeguarding within early years settings.

4.6 That said, I recognise that this must be balanced against the need to ensure that those working in settings do not become afraid to interact confidently with the children in their care. It is only right, for example, that young children should be hugged and comforted when this is needed – indeed withholding this type of comfort could be damaging to a child. This is why this type of training and knowledge is essential to help practitioners understand what is, and is not, appropriate

Catherine, Proprietor and Centre Manager at Springlands Training and Assessment Centre, Principal and Proprietor at SPRINGLANDS (early years, childcare),Principal and Owner at St Mary's Kindergarten and The Cherries Nursery:

“Why do we put children in the position where they have to ASK for comfort (i.e. take the child's lead as they become upset/ask) surely, as sensitive adults who understand children we should anticipate when a child may become frightened or upset and step in with a 'hands on' approach (as appropriate) before they get upset?

I believe, the more 'TLC' they receive the more secure and capable of handling traumatic situations and healthily.

How many fewer than fives currently are anticipated to have mental health problems when they are adults? There is a statistic!

I would expect key-people to know their key children very well - otherwise where's the relationship?

What's the point?     Emotional security is more important than anything else?

In my opinion, the best practitioners will 'naturally' respond and personally I think they should remember, as adults we are unlikely to have any REAL memories of our lives before six (maybe just those told to us) - I am sure you will agree what we do remember of our childhoods has influenced us somehow in adulthood - but as we remember consciously we can rationalise it and maybe repair the hurt. I worry about what is not remembered and this is why 'early years' is such a huge responsibility!

I personally think no cuddling is neglect - that maybe is my subconscious influencing that judgment, particularly when I look at my first school photo!

The nursery systems, environment, staffing ratio's, policies together with the professionalism and trust of individuals within teams should be in place to support individual staff in giving to children; to meet all their needs - this obviously requires 'constant review' and 'risk assessment' to possible accusations/worries/claims.

This is such an important discussion. I enjoyed it and at the same time I feel a real sadness too…This is an area, close to my heart, one that I address with in my work around human connection and relationships and interactions …

So I say lets talk about love and affection in our trainings with those working with our children, in their homes, in nurseries and in schools and lets invite discussions and the opportunity for people to share their beliefs and attitudes and to explore their fears and concerns in this area.

We all need hugging and cuddling no matter what age we are

Are you willing to share your thoughts on this one?

Why is it important to say goodbye?

I was recently part of an on-line discussion on this subject of whether it’s important for parents to say goodbye to their children, when they are left in their child care setting, rather than sneaking away when they play happily.This was the request received on-line, from mother of child 18mths old to NVC practitioners and trainers…and anyone else wanting to contribute….

“Why is it recommended that parents should say goodbye to their children, rather than sneak away when they play happily in their child care setting?
Is it to help them feel secure and to know that mummy and daddy will come back later?
When we do this our son gets very upset and takes 5 or 10 minutes to settle, where as when we sneak out we leave him playing happily and there seems little trauma in relation to separation, he doesn’t even seem to notice that we have left.
I don't currently know if us not saying goodbye is causing any other unmet needs like anxiety or nervousness around us not coming back, he generally seems pretty happy when we come back, but of course, I don't know.
Communicating with him about his needs at this point is not really possible as he is 18mths old. "


I really enjoyed this response which was posted by Sarah Peyton and Bonnie Badenoch USA. (Bonnie Badenoch wrote 'Being a Brain-wise Therapist )
“Saying goodbye is important, but sometimes hard for parents because they have difficulty tolerating their child's cries. Securely attached children cry upon departure, but then settle down - so this sounds right. By having a routine of saying goodbye and then returning later, he will gradually develop neural nets for this pattern of transition and feel more and more secure upon their departure because of the awareness that there will be a return. Without the goodbye, there's no pattern developing, and sneaking isn't going to work much longer anyway. So at some point, he is going to notice you going and have to start from that point. Being able to tolerate our children's cries is so important so our children know that crying is the appropriate response to something that hurts. In the big picture, he "needs" to learn about goodbye and hello again, and the tears in the small picture are a steppingstone to that.
For the brain, the neural nets that develop when we are small hold a prediction of how the world will be, a prediction that we carry on through the rest of our lives.
• Are we safe?
• Is the world more or less predictable?
• Do we need to be hyper vigilant about where people we love are to keep them from disappearing?
• Do we know we matter to those around us?
• The more we are present for our children's reactions to the world and our schedules, the more they are able to hold transition with care and self-compassion throughout their lives.”

Managing emotional separation
Separation/transition anxieties and emotional distress can be very upsetting for parents and carers, but, managing these times are so very important; it is these very early experiences that can impact our adult lives…Responses and subsequent behaviour to transitions and separations will be borne out of how they have made sense of these early experiences.


Most of us have no conscious memory of our infancy and find it difficult to recall experiences before the age of around three years, but this does not mean that these experiences aren’t being coded in our memory. Our hippo campus (the brain nucleus that lays down long term memory) is fully mature by around one year and it seems that emotional responses are coded here from birth, or maybe even in the womb. Experiences travel through our senses long before we can rationalise them, in fact our ability to think symbolically, creatively and rationally does not emerge until around 18 mths.


The role of the person supporting the distressed child literally helps that child get wired up for the future….Margot Sunderland - The Science of Parenting says:


"Will your child be tormented by lower (reptilian) brain systems repeatedly triggering primitive impulses of defence and attack?

Or will he feel so much hurt that he cuts off from the strong feelings of love and need in his mammalian brain, going through life in an over-rational way, unable to form close relationships?
Or will his rational brain coordinate with the emotional systems in his mammalian brain in ways that allow him to enjoy the highest level of social intelligence with the deepest level of human compassion and concern?


Here are a few tips on how to manage emotional distress in a way that supports a child developing the deepest level of human compassion and concern.


• Keep calm.
• Step into their world and gain a real sense of what they feel and need
• Soothe them, through words, touch, embrace, rocking, tone of voice and connection with eyes.
• Let them know that it is OK to express their emotions and help them to feel safe throughout the process
• When the emotional balance has been restored and if they are old enough, talk through the situation.
• Read stories about emotions


Communicating with compassion is the key- I wonder what your thoughts are on this?
If you would like to join a Parent Connect group to explore ways of connecting within your family with greater compassion and connection click here to register your interest or contact me directly by calling 07795632878. Or join my on one of my other events, by clicking http://tracyseed.blogspot.com/p/events-2011.html