How do we feel if we're fully heard
and understood? Relieved, perhaps! But much more too. When somebody really
listens to us, we feel it viscerally;
we sigh deeply, our whole body relaxes and responds; we feel valued, affirmed, respected, confident, happy, empowered and ready to move on, to take the next step. Being fully seen and heard brings possibilities of change. Like all communication when it works well, it naturally carries us forward.
Who's it
for?
An empathic listening space is
suitable for people of ALL ages! I've yet to meet anyone who isn't thankful when
another person catches what they say, or grasps their meaning. Even if being
heard doesn't seem important to us on a personal level, the moment we engage
over something practical, we need to be understood.
And on a human level, we can all benefit. With the warm, non-judgemental acceptance of true listening, we are seen (or have the potential to be seen) in the clear light of reality - not just as who we are, but, perhaps more importantly, for who we want to be. We're given the freedom to be ourselves.
Note: If there's nobody you want to
give it to - you can listen to yourself! When did you last have time to enjoy
just being? It may be just the treat you need ...
How much does it
cost?
Here's the catch. It costs
everything we have! When we listen fully, we listen with the whole of ourselves.
We put down our own agendas and concerns, and immerse ourselves completely in
the other person's world. True listening, even for the briefest moment, is
total. The other person feels our full attention. We give our human presence,
just as we are.
Can anyone give
it?
Listening may be a special gift, but
we do not need to be a special person to listen. All that's required is our
curiosity. We do not need to be wise, or clever, or funny, or sorted, or calm,
or good-looking or even have a good memory. We spend time with the other person,
just as we are. And because we are present with them just as they are, we
validate their world of experience. We do so without trying too hard; without
doing anything 'special'. Now, they can stand on their ground more firmly; they
inhabit their world more freely.
Which size should I
go for?
Our listening space is as large or
small as we want to make it. What matters is the quality of that space. But if
you are short of space and time this Christmas, remember: a little empathy goes
a long way! We need only pause for a moment to resonate with someone's words.
Instead of dashing onto the next thing, we take time out; it's a moment of sheer
holiday spent in someone else's landscape. We enter the dimension Being, not
Doing. Here, even a small interaction feels large. For the person we listen to,
it's as if we have all the time in the world to take them
in.
It's ecologically
sound!
If you're catering for vegetarians
or eco-warriors, it's the perfect gift:
It creates spontaneous warmth
It raises energy levels naturally It's never wasted, and fully recyclable (we can listen as often as we like to the same thing!)
No wrapping
required!
Listening is best seen for what it
is. The fewer layers the better. Our warm interest in another person doesn't
need pretty words to be appreciated. Without frills and glitter, our listening
can be direct and authentic.
Fully
refundable
If your listening gift is not what's
wanted - you can exchange it any time, for words. Your words may be what your
loved ones want, after all ...
True Christmas
spirit!
Listening never leaves anyone out
- even ourselves. Although listening seems to be about another person, at best,
it'sjust as much about us. When we pause to create a listening space for someone
else, we get a break from our busy Doing mode - and a chance to enjoy a
stress-free moment of pure Being. We listen for our own sake, as much as
another's:
True listening
enriches the listener
as much as the
speaker
And the benefits go beyond this.
When we drop all expectations and wishes for what another person 'should' be, or
'could' be, but see them just as they are, something magical happens. We
discover, and rediscover, the timeless
truth, that:
If you listen to
someone fully, you can't help loving them
Postscript: what's
the aftercare?
Warning: You may need to listen
again! (Because the person enjoyed it so much the first time! And I hope because
you loved it too ....)
_____________________________
CAN YOU
HELP?
If you enjoyed reading this tip, you
can sign up here: Life
At Work: Communication Blog (questions, tips,
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Showing posts with label Early Years Leadership. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Early Years Leadership. Show all posts
Monday, 17 December 2012
Listening – The perfect gift for Christmas!
Friday, 7 December 2012
The Final Countdown!
One of the most common things I hear
when I am working with leaders, childcare practitioners and parents
too is:
And at this time of year, I don't know about you, but, it seems that this urgency increases,"time" really does run away with its self, my days pass by so quickly and there are so many things that I want to complete before the final countdown to Christmas.
Why is it that so many of us, feel that we have so much to do?
I have many requests to lead trainings on “time management” and what most people want is to learn are new ways to manage their time/tasks and they think that this is going to give them the answer to feelings of overwhelm.
There are of course many very useful tools and strategies that can help us to prioritise more effectively including:
- Categorising tasks into what is important, urgent, not important; Considering how much time we spend on what we value, enjoy, how much time we spend on tasks and relationships;
- Creating “To do” lists;
- Appointment and task scheduling: for the week, month or even for the year;
- Minimising interruptions
- Changing our internal dialogue.
All of these strategies support us in our desire to become more efficient and more effective and many people that I work with take this action and yet, there are still times when we feel overwhelmed and find ourselves saying that “there is not enough time”.
Its amazing that to pause for a while, to be fully present with what is before us, particularly when we connect to the elements that bring us sharply back to our senses, this simple action can alter our perception of time.
How does this work?
When we give our mind a rest from analysing, comparing, evaluating and thinking about what we have done or must do, we feel more relaxed, more clarity comes and the decisions we make are more effective.
To notice overwhelm and to take action is key
- Breath
- Go for a walk
- Play with the children
- Stroke the cat
- Practise yoga
- Watch the sunset
What matters is that we take time out to restore our emotional and physiological balance. If we don't do this, our final countdown may come more quickly than we think!
When we connect to what is before us, in every action and interaction. This is the present which is the gift that transforms our perception of time.
Monday, 19 November 2012
Train the Trainer:considering early years training and consulting
Working
with adults in any sector is a specialist job, requiring its own set of skills
and competencies. My experience in the
early year’s sector is that no matter how much knowledge and experience of a
subject we have, this alone does not equip us to inspire and empower others.
After attending two training sessions myself, in one week, some years ago, I was stimulated to write about what it means to be an effective trainer, because I learned so little from both of these sessions.
During one session the presenters spent virtually the whole morning from 9.00 until 12.30 sharing their own stories, showing photographs and a short video clip. They did ask us to engage in one activity which involved us talking to each other, but limited time was allowed and the focus and purpose of the activity was not clear and did not seem to connect to what followed, which was more photographs and more of their own stories!
There were a few confident participants who interrupted the presentation to share their own thoughts and the presenters did acknowledge their thoughts, they appeared interested and were affirming, but the opportunity for shared thinking passed, there was no facilitation of a discussion and the presentation continued without participant engagement. Personally, I found the session frustrating, probably because I am passionate about group learning; the "Gestalt" is so important. This is not to say that presenting from the front can’t achieve this too, but sadly, on this occasion although the content the trainers shared was really great practice, I did not feel engaged or stimulated to explore new ideas.
The second event I attended was even more frustrating, for two hours I sat and listened while the presenter read from the handout booklet.
I believe that every event needs to have the potential to make a real difference to practice. You might consider:
What are they expecting?
What are the key principles you are communicating?
What are your intentions and planned outcomes?
How will you plan for affective engagement, cognitive processing and behavioural outcomes?
How will you foster safety in the session for all to share their thoughts and ideas?
Here are a few tips for trainers...
Have a clear aim for your session and objectives
Produce an agenda showing logical progression of your session
Know your audience - what do they want?
Open your presentation with an activity which immediately engages participants and helps them to recall their own experience about the topic.
Facilitate discussion and spend time forming the group so that people feel comfortable to contribute.
When you present information use a range of mediums and words that engage all people this means engage visual, auditory and kinaesthetic learners.
Plan activities which help the participants to apply new learning and consider how they might implement this back in the workplace.
Remember how important the environment is: the decor, lighting, air, furniture layout, positioning of audio and visual aids.
Engage both sides of the brain: left side logic, reasoning and analysis; right side creativity, imagination, colour, synthesis.
Give breaks and provide water.
Help participants remember by repeating regularly, emphasising points unusually, demonstrating, role playing, using metaphors.
Build rapport quickly with tone, gesture, eye contact, using their language.
Whether it is the first of 100th time you have met and worked with a group, greet them individually, be warm and genuine, and let them know you are interested to work with them.
Remember your body language and voice tone, pitch, pace, volume non-verbal communication is providing around 80% of the message that will be received....Give eye contact. Move purposefully, stand straight.
Becoming a master communicator takes continuous comittment to our own development. It seems there is now some support in the form or a new association being formed, for new and experienced trainers and consultants to raise the bar!
I spoke to Laura Henry MD of Childcare Consultancy recently and also received her invitation to attend the launch of the National Early Years Trainers’ and Consultants’ Organisation (NEYTCO): a new initiative with the aim of raising standards in training across theUK
Unfortunately, I will not attend the first meeting because I will be away inNorfolk
Just in case you didn’t receive your invitation, the inaugural session for NEYTCO is being held at the head office of the London Early Years Foundation (LEYF),121
Marsham Street , London , SW1P 4LX
To book your place at this event email admin@childcareconsult.co.uk
See you at the next meeting
Tracy
After attending two training sessions myself, in one week, some years ago, I was stimulated to write about what it means to be an effective trainer, because I learned so little from both of these sessions.
During one session the presenters spent virtually the whole morning from 9.00 until 12.30 sharing their own stories, showing photographs and a short video clip. They did ask us to engage in one activity which involved us talking to each other, but limited time was allowed and the focus and purpose of the activity was not clear and did not seem to connect to what followed, which was more photographs and more of their own stories!
There were a few confident participants who interrupted the presentation to share their own thoughts and the presenters did acknowledge their thoughts, they appeared interested and were affirming, but the opportunity for shared thinking passed, there was no facilitation of a discussion and the presentation continued without participant engagement. Personally, I found the session frustrating, probably because I am passionate about group learning; the "Gestalt" is so important. This is not to say that presenting from the front can’t achieve this too, but sadly, on this occasion although the content the trainers shared was really great practice, I did not feel engaged or stimulated to explore new ideas.
The second event I attended was even more frustrating, for two hours I sat and listened while the presenter read from the handout booklet.
I believe that every event needs to have the potential to make a real difference to practice. You might consider:
What are they expecting?What are the key principles you are communicating?
What are your intentions and planned outcomes?
How will you plan for affective engagement, cognitive processing and behavioural outcomes?
How will you foster safety in the session for all to share their thoughts and ideas?
Here are a few tips for trainers...
Have a clear aim for your session and objectives
Produce an agenda showing logical progression of your session
Know your audience - what do they want?
Open your presentation with an activity which immediately engages participants and helps them to recall their own experience about the topic.
Facilitate discussion and spend time forming the group so that people feel comfortable to contribute.
When you present information use a range of mediums and words that engage all people this means engage visual, auditory and kinaesthetic learners.
Plan activities which help the participants to apply new learning and consider how they might implement this back in the workplace.
Remember how important the environment is: the decor, lighting, air, furniture layout, positioning of audio and visual aids.
Engage both sides of the brain: left side logic, reasoning and analysis; right side creativity, imagination, colour, synthesis.
Give breaks and provide water.
Help participants remember by repeating regularly, emphasising points unusually, demonstrating, role playing, using metaphors.
Build rapport quickly with tone, gesture, eye contact, using their language.
Whether it is the first of 100th time you have met and worked with a group, greet them individually, be warm and genuine, and let them know you are interested to work with them.
Remember your body language and voice tone, pitch, pace, volume non-verbal communication is providing around 80% of the message that will be received....Give eye contact. Move purposefully, stand straight.
Becoming a master communicator takes continuous comittment to our own development. It seems there is now some support in the form or a new association being formed, for new and experienced trainers and consultants to raise the bar!
I spoke to Laura Henry MD of Childcare Consultancy recently and also received her invitation to attend the launch of the National Early Years Trainers’ and Consultants’ Organisation (NEYTCO): a new initiative with the aim of raising standards in training across the
Unfortunately, I will not attend the first meeting because I will be away in
Just in case you didn’t receive your invitation, the inaugural session for NEYTCO is being held at the head office of the London Early Years Foundation (LEYF),
To book your place at this event email admin@childcareconsult.co.uk
See you at the next meeting
Tracy
Wednesday, 19 September 2012
Stretched to our Limits
What will it take to lead Early Years Services during these times of rapid change?
According to John Kotter in his points of view: Leading in the 21st Century (2000). Leaders will need to help people tap into their hopes and dreams in order to unlock their talent and energy.
I think this advice is for everyone not only those who are in professional leadership roles: stepping up to leadership and tapping into our own hopes and dreams at work and in our lives is a potential for us all, using the highest executive funtions of the mind to also exceed logic and to play with ideas, allowing our imaginations to invent new ways of working and living together.
Here are some of the competencies we can develop that will support us to find creative ways forward, may be you can think of others too.
Creativity and Vitality; being able to think outside of the box and to have the energy, motivation and a sense of wellbeing to sustain ourselves and to be mindful in our roles.
Flexibility and Adaptability; to see the doors that open when others close; finding positive outcomes, the learning’s, through problems and difficulties - taking advantage of serendipity;
Self control, discipline, determination and persistence; to know when we are putting out fires and when we are working for prevention, evolution and progress; seeing tasks through to completion; being able to manage our emotions and our relationships in whatever context we find ourselves.
Wednesday, 6 April 2011
Transformational Coaching for Leaders
This is how one (early years) organisation describes the benefits of working with us in an independent coaching relationship. Nonviolent communication and NLP were the approaches that were drawn on during the coaching process.
“Since the management team have received coaching, the impact on the whole team has been massive. Both the Childcare Director and Managers have then been able to coach some of the team at each of the sites.
Coaching is so powerful as it helps us to reflect on our practice on another, much higher level, and start to make changes. Any changes we make in our practice and in ourselves will of course have a massive impact on those around us. At all sites there has definitely been an "empowerment" amongst the team - the team are not so reliant on the management team - they make decisions and fulfil their roles much more effectively. It has also created a more honest culture, which is something I've been trying to encourage for 8 years!!!
I also think people feel they have permission to make mistakes and they will be supported with that, as they think about what they would have done differently and how they will move that forward.
The process has helped transform the senior management team's communication with each other, and in some ways taken out the fear factor - which was skewed due to our own stuff!!
"Coaching really helped me open my eyes and see the bigger picture; it helped me understand some of my own skills and areas for development. It helped me question my own practice. Through this process I have then been able to reach out and support my team in a constructive and beneficial way." Kerry Lambourne (Zoom - Eltham, Manager)
Eleanor hasn't experienced coaching first hand herself (yet), - in a formal capacity!! I have and do coach some of her team. She says - paraphrased.
The advantages, I feel, are that the team receive "on the job" training. Team are given time and support, where they are developed. They feel valued and listened to and are helped to progress, in a nurturing way. This affects the team the person is in and the nursery as a whole. The Manager also gets support with training and supporting the team and help to identify areas for development. Everyone benefits. I don't know if most people appreciate the depth and complexity of the job - and so any 1-2-1 support given in areas that could impact many other areas is fantastic for everyone concerned, e.g. confidence. (zoom - baby unit Manager)
Justine says "coaching has impacted me by enabling me to reflect on my practice at a higher level, gave me confidence to be honest about my strengths and areas for development (although painful), taught me that I'm not perfect!! I am now able to listen more effectively and so I was able to give time and space to others to manage their own processes, and role modelling has had a massive impact on practice; empower and motivate."
The coaching process enables team to reflect on their practice and to be continually moving forward and developing and changing. It is empowering and motivating, it places value and results in ownership. It improves communication and allows challenging of each other in a positive and respectful way - which is then modelled to the children.
If the money was there - I would make it compulsory for all Management team to receive coaching sessions regularly - and they then coach their teams, etc. Impacting children, parents, team and themselves!!” Melanie Ferguson Operations Director Zoom Nurseries, London
This leadership team are so inspired, they are now able to use a coaching style with their staff, obviously this is not entirely the same as working with an unbiased independent coach, but it does mean that they have a repertoire of skills to coach their staff in the context of their job related performance and to lead an overall culture in the organisation that fosters equality and inclusiveness in the team. The benefits have been transformational.
If you are interested in working with a coach on an individual basis or would like us to work with your team contact us at mail@tracyseedassociates.co.uk.
Or join my next 4 day transformational LEAD training programme. We guarantee that you will:
• Gain awareness and flexibility in your leadership style
• Discover the secret of high performing teams.
• Develop coaching and mentoring skills and learn a language for conflict resolution and for creating a culture of team work and collaboration
This is what one participant said who attended my most recent training in Lambeth
“ I have learnt to listen, to work as a team member, to have empathy for my colleagues, have gained confidence and a boldness to sort out issues that occur with the team” Early Years Leader
If you find yourself wanting to acquire theses skills and competencies book your place now by clicking here or telephone me 07795632878 for further information
Next Events
Bromley commencing 6th May
Lincolnshire commencing 7th June (to be confirmed)
Newmarket commencing 8th June
Want to know more about NLP and Nonviolent communication
“Since the management team have received coaching, the impact on the whole team has been massive. Both the Childcare Director and Managers have then been able to coach some of the team at each of the sites.
Coaching is so powerful as it helps us to reflect on our practice on another, much higher level, and start to make changes. Any changes we make in our practice and in ourselves will of course have a massive impact on those around us. At all sites there has definitely been an "empowerment" amongst the team - the team are not so reliant on the management team - they make decisions and fulfil their roles much more effectively. It has also created a more honest culture, which is something I've been trying to encourage for 8 years!!!
I also think people feel they have permission to make mistakes and they will be supported with that, as they think about what they would have done differently and how they will move that forward.
The process has helped transform the senior management team's communication with each other, and in some ways taken out the fear factor - which was skewed due to our own stuff!!
"Coaching really helped me open my eyes and see the bigger picture; it helped me understand some of my own skills and areas for development. It helped me question my own practice. Through this process I have then been able to reach out and support my team in a constructive and beneficial way." Kerry Lambourne (Zoom - Eltham, Manager)
Eleanor hasn't experienced coaching first hand herself (yet), - in a formal capacity!! I have and do coach some of her team. She says - paraphrased.
The advantages, I feel, are that the team receive "on the job" training. Team are given time and support, where they are developed. They feel valued and listened to and are helped to progress, in a nurturing way. This affects the team the person is in and the nursery as a whole. The Manager also gets support with training and supporting the team and help to identify areas for development. Everyone benefits. I don't know if most people appreciate the depth and complexity of the job - and so any 1-2-1 support given in areas that could impact many other areas is fantastic for everyone concerned, e.g. confidence. (zoom - baby unit Manager)
Justine says "coaching has impacted me by enabling me to reflect on my practice at a higher level, gave me confidence to be honest about my strengths and areas for development (although painful), taught me that I'm not perfect!! I am now able to listen more effectively and so I was able to give time and space to others to manage their own processes, and role modelling has had a massive impact on practice; empower and motivate."
The coaching process enables team to reflect on their practice and to be continually moving forward and developing and changing. It is empowering and motivating, it places value and results in ownership. It improves communication and allows challenging of each other in a positive and respectful way - which is then modelled to the children.
If the money was there - I would make it compulsory for all Management team to receive coaching sessions regularly - and they then coach their teams, etc. Impacting children, parents, team and themselves!!” Melanie Ferguson Operations Director Zoom Nurseries, London
This leadership team are so inspired, they are now able to use a coaching style with their staff, obviously this is not entirely the same as working with an unbiased independent coach, but it does mean that they have a repertoire of skills to coach their staff in the context of their job related performance and to lead an overall culture in the organisation that fosters equality and inclusiveness in the team. The benefits have been transformational.
If you are interested in working with a coach on an individual basis or would like us to work with your team contact us at mail@tracyseedassociates.co.uk.
Or join my next 4 day transformational LEAD training programme. We guarantee that you will:
• Gain awareness and flexibility in your leadership style
• Discover the secret of high performing teams.
• Develop coaching and mentoring skills and learn a language for conflict resolution and for creating a culture of team work and collaboration
This is what one participant said who attended my most recent training in Lambeth
“ I have learnt to listen, to work as a team member, to have empathy for my colleagues, have gained confidence and a boldness to sort out issues that occur with the team” Early Years Leader
If you find yourself wanting to acquire theses skills and competencies book your place now by clicking here or telephone me 07795632878 for further information
Next Events
Bromley commencing 6th May
Lincolnshire commencing 7th June (to be confirmed)
Newmarket commencing 8th June
Want to know more about NLP and Nonviolent communication
Tuesday, 22 March 2011
A Coaching Style of Leadership
Most leaders will say that they do employ a coaching style of leadership, but in my experience when we examine what this looks like in practice, they discover that they spend most of their time giving advice and direction, rarely taking the time to listen to their staff or to understand their long-term work related aspirations and goals.
This video of Daniel Goleman being interviewed about leadership explains very well, the type of skills that make outstanding leaders.
Many of these skills can be found in the coaching style of leadership.
The Lead First programme supports leaders and managers to develop these skills and competencies. During four days of experiential learning, with fortnightly intervals between sessions, participants learn to listen, gain awareness of different perceptual viewpoints. They practice the attitude and model of communication developed by Dr Marshall Rosenberg’s non-violent communication and the processes for group decision making developed by Gerard Endenburg’s work with – Dynamic Governance. They coach each other towards taking action and achieving thier goals.
This is what some of my recent participants said after attending this four day programme.
“I am now able to reflect about the overall situation in the nursery and myself as a manger too; the dynamics between the two and how to improve them. I am more able to use a particular style needed for the situation.” Corninna
“Coaching- listening to my staff and letting them solve problems, not jumping in with my opinion is what I have learnt” Tracey
“I feel that I am leaving the course with new skills. I feel empowered and confident and my team have already noticed the difference – inspirational!” Frances
If you would like to develop some of these skills, why not join my next 4 day LEAD first training, being held in:
Bromley commencing 6th May
Lincolnshire commencing 7th June (to be confirmed)
Newmarket commencing 8th June
Book your place now by clicking here or telephone me for further information for contact details see http://www.tracyseedassociates.co.uk/
This video of Daniel Goleman being interviewed about leadership explains very well, the type of skills that make outstanding leaders.
Many of these skills can be found in the coaching style of leadership.
The Lead First programme supports leaders and managers to develop these skills and competencies. During four days of experiential learning, with fortnightly intervals between sessions, participants learn to listen, gain awareness of different perceptual viewpoints. They practice the attitude and model of communication developed by Dr Marshall Rosenberg’s non-violent communication and the processes for group decision making developed by Gerard Endenburg’s work with – Dynamic Governance. They coach each other towards taking action and achieving thier goals.
This is what some of my recent participants said after attending this four day programme.
“I am now able to reflect about the overall situation in the nursery and myself as a manger too; the dynamics between the two and how to improve them. I am more able to use a particular style needed for the situation.” Corninna
“Coaching- listening to my staff and letting them solve problems, not jumping in with my opinion is what I have learnt” Tracey
“I feel that I am leaving the course with new skills. I feel empowered and confident and my team have already noticed the difference – inspirational!” Frances
If you would like to develop some of these skills, why not join my next 4 day LEAD first training, being held in:
Bromley commencing 6th May
Lincolnshire commencing 7th June (to be confirmed)
Newmarket commencing 8th June
Book your place now by clicking here or telephone me for further information for contact details see http://www.tracyseedassociates.co.uk/
Monday, 21 February 2011
Emotionally Intelligent Leaders
What inspired me to write?
Today I heard from someone about the possibility of further cuts in the public sector, for training and developing the leaders and managers of services to children and families..
I feel concerned when I hear this because I have worked with so many of these leaders over the years; in London and across the UK: teachers, childminders, children centre managers, nursery managers, social workers ELLPS and those completing the EYPS. With people from privately funded and public funded groups and I I hear about the high demands of their roles. They give so much and receive such little support.
At the beginning of every new programme that I facilitate, we spend time getting to know each other and I ask:
“What is it that you would really want from this training?”
My LEAD participants always say the same things I want:..
• to know I am doing it right.
• more confidence
• to be able to deal with conflict
• to feel less stressed
• communicate more clearly
• manage my feelings
• to know how to communicate with my line manager in a way that she will listen and I won’t feel anxious.
• to work with my team
• to show who I really am?
• to manage my anger?
• to know how to get others to understand me…
• to get support?
Sometimes as they express their needs, their feelings of overwhelm, anxiety and stress are released and maybe there are a few tears. For some, this is the very first time they have been able to express these feelings, that they have been carrying for years.
No, this is not therapy, it is it is a professional development programme, but it is a programme that works personally with the participants and offers communication, emotional and social skills development.
In addition to the unmet needs that they share, they also share fun, joy and celebration about how they contribute to the lives of children and families and of working collaboratively together as a team and they work together to develop the competencies and skills that they need to lead effectively in their roles..
Emotionally containing models of CPD in our profession, where participants are able to discuss and highlight the emotional complexity of their work in my opinion are so very necessary. There are still few trainers with the skill and experience to offer this opportunity to the sector.
Elfer, Peter and Dearnley, Katy (2007) document the significance of this work in their article: 'Nurseries and emotional well-being: the authors evaluate an emotionally containing model of professional development' for childcare staff http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/09575140701594418
Conclusions of their work gives evidence that when participants were able to discuss and highlight the emotional complexity of their work there were significant shifts in interactions with the children and the parents. I am convinced that when leaders and managers are able to do this too, there is a significant shift in their interactions with their staff; this impacts the culture of the setting and consequently impacts the children and their families.
On my 4 day LEAD course which is delivered over a period of 6 weeks participants are supported to identify their needs and to develop strategies to meet them. They deepen their reflective practice, develop their skills in coaching and mentoring. They gain conscious awareness of their values, Nonviolent/compassionate communication and the work of Marshall Rosenberg, decision making techniques and leadership styles.
This is just one CPD training that supports leaders and managers.
If you are interested in this and other trainings, events and services see http://www.tracyseedassociates.co.uk/
The next LEAD event commences 10th March and is being delivered in Bromley, for other dates and to book a place, see http://tracyseed.blogspot.com/p/events-2011.html
I look forward to working with you.......
"People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within” -- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
________________________________________
Today I heard from someone about the possibility of further cuts in the public sector, for training and developing the leaders and managers of services to children and families..
I feel concerned when I hear this because I have worked with so many of these leaders over the years; in London and across the UK: teachers, childminders, children centre managers, nursery managers, social workers ELLPS and those completing the EYPS. With people from privately funded and public funded groups and I I hear about the high demands of their roles. They give so much and receive such little support.
At the beginning of every new programme that I facilitate, we spend time getting to know each other and I ask:
“What is it that you would really want from this training?”
My LEAD participants always say the same things I want:..
• to know I am doing it right.
• more confidence
• to be able to deal with conflict
• to feel less stressed
• communicate more clearly
• manage my feelings
• to know how to communicate with my line manager in a way that she will listen and I won’t feel anxious.
• to work with my team
• to show who I really am?
• to manage my anger?
• to know how to get others to understand me…
• to get support?
Sometimes as they express their needs, their feelings of overwhelm, anxiety and stress are released and maybe there are a few tears. For some, this is the very first time they have been able to express these feelings, that they have been carrying for years.
No, this is not therapy, it is it is a professional development programme, but it is a programme that works personally with the participants and offers communication, emotional and social skills development.
In addition to the unmet needs that they share, they also share fun, joy and celebration about how they contribute to the lives of children and families and of working collaboratively together as a team and they work together to develop the competencies and skills that they need to lead effectively in their roles..
Emotionally containing models of CPD in our profession, where participants are able to discuss and highlight the emotional complexity of their work in my opinion are so very necessary. There are still few trainers with the skill and experience to offer this opportunity to the sector.
Elfer, Peter and Dearnley, Katy (2007) document the significance of this work in their article: 'Nurseries and emotional well-being: the authors evaluate an emotionally containing model of professional development' for childcare staff http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/09575140701594418
Conclusions of their work gives evidence that when participants were able to discuss and highlight the emotional complexity of their work there were significant shifts in interactions with the children and the parents. I am convinced that when leaders and managers are able to do this too, there is a significant shift in their interactions with their staff; this impacts the culture of the setting and consequently impacts the children and their families.
On my 4 day LEAD course which is delivered over a period of 6 weeks participants are supported to identify their needs and to develop strategies to meet them. They deepen their reflective practice, develop their skills in coaching and mentoring. They gain conscious awareness of their values, Nonviolent/compassionate communication and the work of Marshall Rosenberg, decision making techniques and leadership styles.
This is just one CPD training that supports leaders and managers.
If you are interested in this and other trainings, events and services see http://www.tracyseedassociates.co.uk/
The next LEAD event commences 10th March and is being delivered in Bromley, for other dates and to book a place, see http://tracyseed.blogspot.com/p/events-2011.html
I look forward to working with you.......
"People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within” -- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
________________________________________
Tuesday, 2 March 2010
Train the Trainer
How many trainers working in the education sector really consider how adults learn when they plan and deliver their sessions?
I have attended so many events where the presenters have a wealth of experience and knowledge, but they present this in a way that does not engage me for any length of time. I remember little or nothing of what they shared after the event.
I also listen during the breaks, to the comments of participants and I hear minimal discussion about what is being presented, instead they talk about the delights that may be served with tea and coffee and what they might expect for lunch!
Last week I attended two events.
During one session the presenters spent virtually the whole morning from 9.00 until 12.30 sharing their own stories, showing photographs and a short video clip. They did ask us to engage in one activity which involved us talking to each other, but limited time was allowed and the focus and purpose of the activity was not clear and did not seem to connect to what followed, which was more photographs and more of their own stories!
There were a few confident participants who interrupted the presentation to share their own thoughts and the presenters did acknowledge their thoughts, they appeared interested and were affirming, but the opportunity for shared thinking passed, there was no facilitation of a discussion and the presentation continued without participant engagement. Personally, I found the session frustrating, probably because I am passionate about group learning;the "Gestalt" is so important. This is not to say that presenting from the front cant achieve this too, but sadly, on this occassion although the content the trainers shared was really great practice,I did not feel engaged or stimulated to explore new ideas.
The second event I attended was even more frustrating, for two hours I sat and listened while the presenter read from the handout booklet.
I really do think that it is time for the education sector to ensure that the trainers they are engaging do know how to identify the needs of the participants and how to engage them and to plan and deliver sessions that facilitate the learning and development of the participants attending. I believe that every event needs to have the potential to make a real difference to practice.
So here are just a few tips for trainers...
Have a clear aim for your session and objectives
Produce an agenda showing logical progression of your session
Know your audience
What do they want to know?
What are they expecting?
Engage the three learning domains affective, cognitive and behavoural...through a variety of teaching strategies
Open your presentation with an activity which immediately engages participants and helps them to recall their own expereince about the topic.
Facilitate discussion and spend time forming the group so that people feel comfortable to contribute.
When you present information use a range of mediums and words that engage all people this means enaging visual, auditory and kinaesthetic learners.
Plan activities which help the participants to apply new learning and consdier how they might implement this back in the workplace.
Remember how important the environment is. The decor, lighting, air, furniture layout, positioning of audio and visual aids.
Engage both sides of the brain. Left side logic, reasoning and analysis.
Right side creativity, imagination, colour, synthesis.
Give breaks and provide water.
Help participants remember by repeating regularly, emphasising points unusually, demonstrating, role playing, using metaphores.
Build rapport quickly with tone, gesture, eye contact, using their language.
Whether it is the first of 100th time you have met and worked with a group, greet them individually, be warm and genuine, let them know you are interested to work with them. Give eye contact. Move purposefully, stand straight.
Remember your body language and voice tone, pitch, pace, volume non-verbal communication is providing around 95% of the message that will be received....
Here is one book that may give you further tips.....
Good luck
I have attended so many events where the presenters have a wealth of experience and knowledge, but they present this in a way that does not engage me for any length of time. I remember little or nothing of what they shared after the event.
I also listen during the breaks, to the comments of participants and I hear minimal discussion about what is being presented, instead they talk about the delights that may be served with tea and coffee and what they might expect for lunch!
Last week I attended two events.
During one session the presenters spent virtually the whole morning from 9.00 until 12.30 sharing their own stories, showing photographs and a short video clip. They did ask us to engage in one activity which involved us talking to each other, but limited time was allowed and the focus and purpose of the activity was not clear and did not seem to connect to what followed, which was more photographs and more of their own stories!
There were a few confident participants who interrupted the presentation to share their own thoughts and the presenters did acknowledge their thoughts, they appeared interested and were affirming, but the opportunity for shared thinking passed, there was no facilitation of a discussion and the presentation continued without participant engagement. Personally, I found the session frustrating, probably because I am passionate about group learning;the "Gestalt" is so important. This is not to say that presenting from the front cant achieve this too, but sadly, on this occassion although the content the trainers shared was really great practice,I did not feel engaged or stimulated to explore new ideas.
The second event I attended was even more frustrating, for two hours I sat and listened while the presenter read from the handout booklet.
I really do think that it is time for the education sector to ensure that the trainers they are engaging do know how to identify the needs of the participants and how to engage them and to plan and deliver sessions that facilitate the learning and development of the participants attending. I believe that every event needs to have the potential to make a real difference to practice.
So here are just a few tips for trainers...
Have a clear aim for your session and objectives
Produce an agenda showing logical progression of your session
Know your audience
What do they want to know?
What are they expecting?
Engage the three learning domains affective, cognitive and behavoural...through a variety of teaching strategies
Open your presentation with an activity which immediately engages participants and helps them to recall their own expereince about the topic.
Facilitate discussion and spend time forming the group so that people feel comfortable to contribute.
When you present information use a range of mediums and words that engage all people this means enaging visual, auditory and kinaesthetic learners.
Plan activities which help the participants to apply new learning and consdier how they might implement this back in the workplace.
Remember how important the environment is. The decor, lighting, air, furniture layout, positioning of audio and visual aids.
Engage both sides of the brain. Left side logic, reasoning and analysis.
Right side creativity, imagination, colour, synthesis.
Give breaks and provide water.
Help participants remember by repeating regularly, emphasising points unusually, demonstrating, role playing, using metaphores.
Build rapport quickly with tone, gesture, eye contact, using their language.
Whether it is the first of 100th time you have met and worked with a group, greet them individually, be warm and genuine, let them know you are interested to work with them. Give eye contact. Move purposefully, stand straight.
Remember your body language and voice tone, pitch, pace, volume non-verbal communication is providing around 95% of the message that will be received....
Here is one book that may give you further tips.....
Good luck
Thursday, 10 December 2009
Emotionally Intelligent LEADERSHIP in early years settings
I am currently in the process of delivering a number of LEAD Early Years Leadership and Management training's funded by CDWC through London Local Authorities and demand for this training is increasing.
I am reminded every time I meet a new group of Early Years Leaders about the high level of commitment and dedication they have to providing the best possible care and education for children and families.
Leading a childcare centre is a challenging post that requires knowledge, skill and understanding of, not only child care practice, but finance, organisational structure, legislation, human resources, health and safety, marketing and much more.
Often, my course participants are leading large children's centres, children's services or nurseries as part of a group or chain. They have gained years of experience working in the early years sector and their qualities and skills as child care practitioners or teachers have been recognised by others as gifted. The natural career progression seems to be that they will share this expertise with their team through leading and managing the centre. However, often, this leads to them finding themselves in a demanding and challenging post with little experience and with minimal support for the skills and knowledge they need to assist them in leading.
Our early years leaders need to know so much,.....systems and processes, how to develop these, in addition to leading people and managing situations and events on a daily basis....they work with a diverse group of children and families to raise the citizens of tomorrow.
Often overwhelmed by their responsibilities, they question their own competence or the competence of those working with them and lead, often unconsciously, through exerting power and control over others or they feel powerless!
Leading in a way that facilitates shared collaboration and consequently achieving a culture of shared power and control in the setting, where everyone feels valued and empowered to contribute and to take responsibility, takes time and requires a leader with a high level of emotional intellect.
The work of Daniel Goleman and many others provide us with a set of competencies, which when developed, support us in leading and managing with greater confidence and ease.
These are:
This involves us being aware of our emotional self, the things that we value, why we value these things, what we believe and why we believe certain things. why we behave the way that we do. To recognise the situations that trigger us emotionally.
Self Management
Understanding ourselves and knowing what we feel and need and choosing how to respond, particularly when situations or events trigger us emotionally. Managing our time, ourselves and our own development needs.
Social Awareness
Being flexible and being able to see not only our own view point, but also the view point of others and being able to see both of these perspectives at the same time is a real achievement.
Social Skills
Being able to communicate effectively and even more importantly, affectively, to influence, envision, deal with conflicts and mediate, coach and mentor others and empower them to take responsibility for themselves and their own area of work.
Being an affective leader takes commitment and passion, it requires us to journey through our own personal internal maps and to develop skills, understanding and an attitude that facilitates development, change and improvement in ourselves, with others and in the setting we work with.
It means being proactive!
Steve Covey's tells this story about pro activity in his book "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People"
"Once I was speaking on the subject of pro activity and a woman in the audience stood up. "You can't imagine what has just happened to me," she explained. "I'm a full-time nurse to the most miserable, ungrateful man you can possibly imagine.
Nothing I do is good enough for him. He constantly harps on at me and finds fault with everything I do. This man has been making my life miserable and I often take my frustration our on my family. The other nurses feel the same way. We almost pray for his demise.
For you to stand up there and have the gall to suggest that nothing can hurt me without my consent, and that I have chosen my own emotional life of being miserable - well, there was no way I could buy into that"
"But as I was listening to you, I kept thinking about it. I really went inside myself and began to ask - Do I have the power to choose my responses?
When I finally realised that I had chosen to be miserable I also realised that I could choose not to be miserable. At that moment I stood up and wanted to yell to the whole world, I am free! I am out of this prison! No longer am I going to be controlled by the treatment of some person."
I am reminded every time I meet a new group of Early Years Leaders about the high level of commitment and dedication they have to providing the best possible care and education for children and families.
Leading a childcare centre is a challenging post that requires knowledge, skill and understanding of, not only child care practice, but finance, organisational structure, legislation, human resources, health and safety, marketing and much more.
Often, my course participants are leading large children's centres, children's services or nurseries as part of a group or chain. They have gained years of experience working in the early years sector and their qualities and skills as child care practitioners or teachers have been recognised by others as gifted. The natural career progression seems to be that they will share this expertise with their team through leading and managing the centre. However, often, this leads to them finding themselves in a demanding and challenging post with little experience and with minimal support for the skills and knowledge they need to assist them in leading.
Our early years leaders need to know so much,.....systems and processes, how to develop these, in addition to leading people and managing situations and events on a daily basis....they work with a diverse group of children and families to raise the citizens of tomorrow.
Often overwhelmed by their responsibilities, they question their own competence or the competence of those working with them and lead, often unconsciously, through exerting power and control over others or they feel powerless!
Leading in a way that facilitates shared collaboration and consequently achieving a culture of shared power and control in the setting, where everyone feels valued and empowered to contribute and to take responsibility, takes time and requires a leader with a high level of emotional intellect.
The work of Daniel Goleman and many others provide us with a set of competencies, which when developed, support us in leading and managing with greater confidence and ease.
These are:
- Self Awareness
- Managing Self
- Social Awareness
- Social Skills
This involves us being aware of our emotional self, the things that we value, why we value these things, what we believe and why we believe certain things. why we behave the way that we do. To recognise the situations that trigger us emotionally.
Self Management
Understanding ourselves and knowing what we feel and need and choosing how to respond, particularly when situations or events trigger us emotionally. Managing our time, ourselves and our own development needs.
Social Awareness
Being flexible and being able to see not only our own view point, but also the view point of others and being able to see both of these perspectives at the same time is a real achievement.
Social Skills
Being able to communicate effectively and even more importantly, affectively, to influence, envision, deal with conflicts and mediate, coach and mentor others and empower them to take responsibility for themselves and their own area of work.
Being an affective leader takes commitment and passion, it requires us to journey through our own personal internal maps and to develop skills, understanding and an attitude that facilitates development, change and improvement in ourselves, with others and in the setting we work with.
It means being proactive!
Steve Covey's tells this story about pro activity in his book "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People"
"Once I was speaking on the subject of pro activity and a woman in the audience stood up. "You can't imagine what has just happened to me," she explained. "I'm a full-time nurse to the most miserable, ungrateful man you can possibly imagine.
Nothing I do is good enough for him. He constantly harps on at me and finds fault with everything I do. This man has been making my life miserable and I often take my frustration our on my family. The other nurses feel the same way. We almost pray for his demise.
For you to stand up there and have the gall to suggest that nothing can hurt me without my consent, and that I have chosen my own emotional life of being miserable - well, there was no way I could buy into that"
"But as I was listening to you, I kept thinking about it. I really went inside myself and began to ask - Do I have the power to choose my responses?
When I finally realised that I had chosen to be miserable I also realised that I could choose not to be miserable. At that moment I stood up and wanted to yell to the whole world, I am free! I am out of this prison! No longer am I going to be controlled by the treatment of some person."
It's not what happens to us, but our response to what happens that hurts
Wednesday, 26 November 2008
Values Based Leadership
I delivered the first session of the LEAD programme to early years leaders and managers in the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea on 14th November. I really enjoyed working with the participants to help them identify the values that drive them.
It reminded me of the work I did myself when working as MD of Saplings Nurseries, I too, discovered for the first time, in a conscious way, what values were important to me and how my own personal values influenced the way I managed and led myself and others.
Aligning my own values with the organisations and working with my team to align theirs and to gain clarity over the criteria we assigned to them, meant that we led and managed in a way that moved us forward with purpose and vision.
We recognising that if we said we valued openness, honesty, respect and equality we needed to agree what that really meant for us as a company, through every area of our practice.
Did we want honest feedback from parents, staff, children ?
How did we deal with it, when we received it?
We acknowledged our need to develop consciousness over the way we managed. To be able to see our reactions and judgements and work out strategies which were synonymous with our values as well as being in the best interests of all the people that had a stake in the organisation.
It was our awareness and the fact that we started to learn new ways of communicating that helped us. Our intention to create a culture where everyone felt listened to, difficulties were aired openly and where new practises evolved through contribution from the people in the organisation, meant that innovation, creativity and working together in a supportive environment became the norm.
Leading this organisation gave me the best experience ever and I remember with fondness all those that contributed in providing wonderful settings for the children, the staff and parents.
I'm looking forward to continuing my work on this programme and being part of many organisations who want to make a difference in peoples lives.
It reminded me of the work I did myself when working as MD of Saplings Nurseries, I too, discovered for the first time, in a conscious way, what values were important to me and how my own personal values influenced the way I managed and led myself and others.
Aligning my own values with the organisations and working with my team to align theirs and to gain clarity over the criteria we assigned to them, meant that we led and managed in a way that moved us forward with purpose and vision.
We recognising that if we said we valued openness, honesty, respect and equality we needed to agree what that really meant for us as a company, through every area of our practice.
Did we want honest feedback from parents, staff, children ?
How did we deal with it, when we received it?
We acknowledged our need to develop consciousness over the way we managed. To be able to see our reactions and judgements and work out strategies which were synonymous with our values as well as being in the best interests of all the people that had a stake in the organisation.
It was our awareness and the fact that we started to learn new ways of communicating that helped us. Our intention to create a culture where everyone felt listened to, difficulties were aired openly and where new practises evolved through contribution from the people in the organisation, meant that innovation, creativity and working together in a supportive environment became the norm.
Leading this organisation gave me the best experience ever and I remember with fondness all those that contributed in providing wonderful settings for the children, the staff and parents.
I'm looking forward to continuing my work on this programme and being part of many organisations who want to make a difference in peoples lives.
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