Monday, 24 June 2013

Empowerment Through Compassion

I am reminded over and again of how much I love sharing nonviolent communication, the work of Dr Marshall Rosenberg.  

Last Sunday with my fellow facilitator Karl Smerecnik,  we provided some fun exercises which were designed to support people to explore how: 
  • self-acceptance is the foundation for empowerment
  • we transform our beliefs to have greater freedom and peace
  • empathic listening as the key to navigating tough and uncomfortable situations
  • awareness of our intention empowers us to ask for what we really want.
Having fun responding to the messages that are so difficult to hear from others in every day life does sounds rather strange and yet it is true, I hear people laughing as they hear their own inner thoughts and I witness changes in people regularly, even when there are situations that seems so stuck!  

When we are fully aware of all that happens to us  - what our inner voices say and we connect fully to our feelings and wants, with empathic understanding, we are able to think more clearly and we often discover solutions to problems that we didn't know were possible. 

We learn that we can hear messages and we have the choice to respond in many different ways. 

This is how Dr Dan Siegal explains the process:

"Response flexibility enables us to pause before responding as we put a temporal and mental space between stimulus and action. From a neurobiological perspective, this space of mind enables the range of possibilities to be considered, to just "be" with an experience, to be reflected upon, before engaging the "do" circuitry of action. 
Response flexibility offers the individual a way of choosing to be the "wisest self" possible in that moment."

NVC Process is

What are we observing that is affecting our wellbeing?

How do we feel in relation to what we are observing?

What are the needs,values,desires etc that are creating our feelings?

What are the concrete actions we request in 
order to enrich our lives?

 Words are Windows (or are they walls?)
by Ruth Bebermeyer

I feel so sentenced by your words, 
I feel so judged and sent away, before I go I've got to know
Is that what you meant to say?
Before I die to my defines,
Before I speak of hurt or fear,
Before I build that wall of words, Tell me did I really hear?
Words are windows, or they're walls, 
They sentence us or set us free, 
When I speak ad when I hear, 
Let the love light shine through me. 
There are things I need to say,
Things that mean so much to me,
If my words don't make me clear, 
Will you help me to be free?
If I seemed to put you down,
If you felt I didn't care,
Try to listen through my words
To the feelings that we share

Want to know more ?

These are some of the comments that participants shared with us at the end of the day:

“This is a very rewarding process and I am very grateful for these group workshops.”

“The two NVC workshops I have been part of have been strengthening events within themselves but have continued to resonate with me in the weeks that followed.”

“It was great to have the space to look at thoughts, feelings and needs in such a simple straight forward way.”

“The workshop enabled me to understand that past events don’t have to dictated my emotional responses – or that I can understand and move past that response.”

“I gained more clarity about how I can achieve better communication with others.”

“The workshop highlighted many areas of my life that these skills would help improve – all relationships such as work, family, children, friends, partners, etc.”

Next group meets on 10th November in Forest Hill, South East London 9, Havelock Walk SE 23 If you would like to know more do email me 

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